Left work early because of the snow storm, so I was able to catch The Tyra Show today. Lol. Today's show was focused more on divorced women and how to help them move forward. There were people in the audience that had divorce parties in order to express their "freedom", some cut off wedding pictures, destroyed their wedding dresses, and some even shred their wedding certificate. While watching the show I started to realize how Every divorce situation is different and that everyone cope with the hurt/pain differently.
As some may know, I am a divorcee. Married "technically" for a year and a half, but was only happy for 1 year during that marriage. Being married to my best friend was one of the most amazing feelings I've ever had. I couldn't have asked for anything better. After 1 year of what I thought was a good marriage, everything turned upside down. Literally!!! It was like one day I was on cloud 9 and the next day I was in Hell. I couldn't believe what was going on in our marriage, I couldn't believe "IT" can happen to me. I felt so lost, hurt, betrayed, heart broken, and so many other feelings I've never felt before. Even after all of that, I tried to work things out and put my marriage back together, but it was too late. My husband, my best friend, and the love of my life was gone. He had given his heart to someone else...We decided to get a divorce and go our separate ways. Our divorce was final the day before my 25th birthday.
As soon as that divorce paper was signed, I got into my car and drove from Ohio to Philly, crying the whole time, asking God, "WHY???"....why these things had to happen. But even though I was crying because I was sad, I was also crying tears of joy. It was kinda weird, I FELT FREE!!!!!!!! I wanted to celebrate my freedom. I wanted to hug God and thank him for saving me. It felt like I was giving a second chance to live again. I didn't feel free because I wanted to be single again, I felt free because as soon as I signed my name on that divorce paper MY HEALING began. Remember when I said that I was only happy for 1 year of my marriage, I was very very unhappy for the last six months of the marriage. It was so painful that it felt like someone is constantlly stabbing at my heart. I thought I was going to die. But God is Good...He didn't want to see his child go through that much hurt that he rescued me and gave me life. Someone told me once that "God Hates Divorce"....and I said, "I know, I feel so ashamed." Then they explain that God is not angry or disappointed at me because I'm divorced, God hates divorce because he doesn't want to see his children go through so much pain. He loves us so much and feels our pain.
I'm just glad I'm on God's side. I will talk about how I coped after the divorce in another post. But just like the guest of The Tyra Show, I wanted to celebrate my freedom/divorce, but my way of celebrating my divorce was to finish my MBA, move to a new state and start a new life. You won't feel free until you understand that God is with you ALWAYS and getting a divorce is NOT the end of your life. You have to see it as a way to start over....do things you've always wanted to do. Go back to school, travel, and definitely meet new people. Remember to ALWAYS keep GOD first and surround yourself with positive and encouraging people. Most importantly, LOVE YOURSELF, you can't love anyone if you don't love yourself first.
